The best teacher of forgiveness is God’s Holy Word KJV. Listen I’ve been on both sides of this fence, I’ve found that people who throw this word around loosely have no idea what it means. There is no substitution it. You must forgive to start over clear and clean from the inside out. Do you know that we drag our past around with us all our lives if we don’t work on forgiveness? I think that I have a great heart but I’m being transparent I’m having a problem in this area that only God can help me with. Sometimes we know that we haven’t forgiven but because the offenses were so grave but that is not the problem. We have to understand that it’s for us and not for the Christ offers for forgiveness for everyone everywhere shirt. They’re not worth it but we are. more info later. This is an important paradigm shift from the deeply programmed belief/behavior of we must always forgive regardless of the offense. This belief/behavior is part of the conditioning we receive from early on via family, religion, and society. Toxic people know this and use it as a tool of leverage as a means to keep you in their game. The distinction that Dr. Campbell is establishing is out of self-love, self-respect and self-protection, we need to drop the conditioning that forgiveness must ALWAYS be granted.
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I too believe that (in many cases) when we forgive, it takes bricks off our shoulders and give us a Peace from within. Whether the person we have forgiven accepts and repents of how they how injured us or not. It is not our Christ offers for forgiveness for everyone everywhere shirt. In forgiveness from our heart, it helps us to move on with a freedom and. without holding regret which can cause bitterness. I chose to forgive him. For my own inner peace, Just as I wish him the best in his new life. Because if he’s not happy now. That means that he imploded my whole families lives for nothing. So I choose to forgive and start rebuilding our new life. For me, forgiveness is a lifelong journey. Some people I have forgiven with nothing in return from them. I did it for me and I let it go. Some people I am still trying to forgive, it is just more difficult. I removed them my life completely and that is good…but I will let it go soon
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I think that this in some ways is true, but I have forgiven the toxic adult children and other family members in my life because that forgiveness is for me. I know that their behavior will not change because they truly believe that their behavior is justified. My husband and I have put up boundaries that we are standing together in. A blending of families is hard, but it’s even harder when my husband’s adult children are living in the past. Their toxic behavior is heartbreaking and it won’t change until they want to change, we know that. But we’ve forgiven them because we aren’t holding on to the “junk” and pain. We’ve chosen to put in place no contact boundaries and letting them know we love them that will not change, but we have to love you from over here. It’s hard to place boundaries between family members but so necessary for our peace and happiness!
Thank you for sharing!